


i'll be around

by stainedglassbirds



Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Anxiety, Gen, Gender Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Trans Character, Trans Huey Duck, Trans Violet Sabrewing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:40:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23487709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stainedglassbirds/pseuds/stainedglassbirds
Summary: Realizing you're not a boy when you thought you were for 11 years can be a little weird. Or, in Huey's case, she's a few steps away from a breakdown.
Relationships: Huey Duck & Violet Sabrewing
Comments: 8
Kudos: 81





	i'll be around

Huey nervously bites his fingers, pacing around in a tight circle. Abruptly he comes to a standstill, staring at the flickering fire, focusing on the repetitive movement as its flames dance.  
  
“Okay, okay… calm down Huey, everything’s _fine_.” He takes a deep breath, fanning his hands.  
  
The clock ticks.  
  
Reflexively he glances at it. It’s almost 1:00 p.m. “She’ll be here. It’s _fine_. Don’t need to panic about anything!” _Tick_. _Tick_. _Tick_. “And then she can tell you you’re being stupid and everything can go back to normal!” _Tick_. _Tick_. _  
__  
_He lets out a distressed noise, grabbing his hair. It’s more grown out than it’s been his entire life, reaching more the length of Webby’s hair. He just… stopped having it cut one day. No one said anything about it, and he carefully didn’t mention it, something making his stomach twist at the thought.  
  
“But what if-”  
  
 _1:00 p.m_. _  
__  
_Huey almost lunges for the door the second he hears a resounding _knock_ , swinging it open to see Violet, who looks a little bewildered, eyes wide with her hand still raised in the air in a fist.  
  
“Oh.” Violet blinks. “Hello, Hubert. What it is that you called me here for-”  
  
“HiVioletnotimetoexplain!” He rushes out, grabbing her hand as she trails off with a startled yelp when he dashes towards the stairs, sprinting to his and his siblings room in record time- not that anyone’s keeping track. _  
__  
_Shoving Violet into the room, Huey slams the door behind him, leaning against it. He takes a deep sigh of relief as he presses his hand against his chest in some vain attempt to calm his racing heartbeat.  
  
There’s no one in the house except for Beakley and Duckworth, the rest out on an adventure Huey had decided to not go on, so he could have time for this instead while making sure nearly no one else would be around.  
  
So obviously, there isn’t going to be any spying done, or people bursting into the room, or some other disastrous thing, but he finds himself giving a quick look around anyways.  
  
It’s just him and Violet.  
  
“Are you okay?”  
  
Huey jumps, looking at Violet. She’s staring at him with obvious concern, a frown on her face with her head tilted to his left.  
  
He fidgets under her gaze. “Yeah!” He winces at how loud it comes out. “I just- I, um. I…” The words stick to his mouth, just out of reach, and he doesn’t understand why suddenly it’s so hard to just _speak_ . “ _I_ -” It’s like a sticks being lodged into his throat, and despite the air conditioning in the manor his skin burns.   
  
This shouldn’t be so _hard_. Why is he freaking out? Why is he so _scared_? It doesn’t matter, none of this matters at all, he just needs to tell somebody so he can finally get past this phase so _why can’t he do that_?!  
  
“You’re shaking.” Violet notes, stepping closer. Her voice cuts through the buzzing thoughts in his head, bringing a small amount of clarity.  
  
Huey blinks, looking down at his hands and sees that he is, in fact, shaking. Violet continues. “I would advise you to sit down. Is it okay if I touch you right now?”  
  
 _Stupidstupidstupidstupid_ -  
  
After a moment's pause he registers what she’s asking and hesitantly nods. He doesn’t realize he subconsciously started to grip his hair until Violet gently grabs his hands, slowly helping him step away from the door. He’s immediately grateful for her holding him steady because the second he moves he stumbles, his legs feeling like they’ve turned to jello.  
  
He can’t even walk. This isn’t supposed to be this bad, he’s supposed to be smart and mature about this, it shouldn’t be so- so _terrifying_.  
  
She gently leads him to the bunk bed, sitting down on it with him, and he wills himself to not fall into the comforting embrace of the blanket and pillow.  
  
Huey _knows_ he’s gripping Violet’s hand too hard to be comfortable, but he can’t bring himself to let go, not when everything is unbearably hot and dizzy, his windpipe slowly crushing in on itself and suddenly he realizes he _can’t breathe_ -  
  
All the air in the room has been stolen and he desperately tries to get it back but no matter what he does it _won’t_ and he can’t breathe _he can’t breathe he CAN’T_ -  
 _  
_“ _Hubert_.”  
  
A hand suddenly moves his head, turning him to look at the blurry shape of Violet, the tears he didn’t notice were there covering his vision.  
  
“I need you to focus on my breathing and repeat the pattern. Inhale for four seconds.” She inhales, Huey dazedly trying his best to follow these _simple instructions_ but his breath is too filled with sobs and everything is _drifting_.  
  
“I- I can’t-” His voice rises, cracking as his throat suddenly closes in on itself and choking off the rest of his words.  
  
Violet takes his free hand, pressing it to her chest. He can feel the steady up and down of her breathing. “You _can_. It’s okay. Inhale for four seconds.” She starts again, and this time Huey manages to follow her lead.  
  
“Hold for seven.”  
  
Without the distress filling his lungs he can feel how badly he’s shaking.  
  
“Exhale for eight.”  
  
It’s stilted and off and he’s barely calmer than before, but something about feeling Violet’s even breathing and matching his to it… the knot in his chest loosens.  
  
 _Four, seven, eight_.  
  
They continue the process, going for as long as what could be only a few minutes or thirty. Reality feels too blurred to tell, and everything feels exactly the same yet completely different, as if it’s been moved to the right by an inch.  
  
Slowly, but _surely_... the world starts building itself back into something a little more solid.  
  
The burning feeling of a hot summer day begins to fade away, his throat feeling less like a straw and more a small tube, and everything is more... manageable.  
  
Not perfect. Not exactly _okay_.  
  
But, manageable.  
  
Huey takes a shuddering breath, letting it smooth out naturally in his next exhale. His hand hardly shakes as gradually he pulls it away from Violet’s chest.  
  
His other hand finally loosens it’s death grip on hers, but he doesn’t let go. Violet doesn’t either.  
  
“...Do you want to do another technique? It’s supposed to help with grounding.” Violet asks softly.  
  
Part of him wants to say no. He wants to curl up into a ball and forget all of this ever happened, the embarrassment in him screaming from Violet having to see him suddenly break down. But he wants her to be here, he _wants_ to have this comfort.  
  
“Y- yeah. I want to.” It’s almost humiliating how quiet his voice is, barely a whisper. The walls in his throat threaten to close in again. At least he spoke more than last time.  
  
“Okay. Name five things in the room you can see.”  
  
Huey takes a deep breath. “...You, my hand… Louie’s blanket, the ladder, and the floor.”  
  
“Four things you can feel.”  
  
“My shirt, my bracelet, your hand... Louie’s blanket again.”  
  
“Three things you can hear.”  
  
“Myself, you…” Huey pauses. “There’s… birds outside.”  
  
“Two things you can smell.”  
  
“...Pie? Fresh air.”  
  
“The pie’s from me. One thing you can taste.”  
  
“Oh. Were you baking earlier?” Huey asks. “And I can taste my spit, I guess.”  
  
“Yes. My papa’s think it’s good manners to bring food to someone’s house if they invite you. A sort of repayment, or gift.” Violet explains, waving one hand.  
  
Huey tilts his head. “I didn’t see you with anything at the door.”  
  
“I do not think you were in the right state of mind, but rest assured, I did have some. I set it down on a table we passed when you dragged me to your room to ensure it wouldn’t be ruined.”  
  
“ _Oh_.” His face burns. “Sorry.” He mumbles, resisting the urge to crumple in on himself.  
  
“It’s quite alright. Back to the matter at hand… are you feeling better?”  
  
Huey stills. The question holds no pressure to it, just someone who’s sincerely wondering. He lets himself take a moment, examining his emotions like a scientist with their test subject. _Is_ he feeling better?  
  
He’s no longer two steps away from a full mental breakdown, though that’s a low bar. He can breathe. He’s… _nervous_. He’s anxious. But it doesn’t feel like he’s drowning anymore, hands clawing at his throat that pull and _pull_ with the intent to never let him leave.  
  
“Yes.” Huey answers, and there’s a spark of pride in knowing it’s completely honest.  
  
Violet gives a brief smile. “I’m glad. Do you want to talk about it?”  
  
Huey feels his stomach drop.  
  
 _The question of the hour._  
  
The entire reason he brought her here was to _talk about it_ but instead he ended up having a- a panic attack-? before he could even start. The thought of trying again feels like a looming mass of anxiety waiting to crash down and reel him back in.  
  
 _Still_.  
  
He needs to do this.  
  
The conversation he rehearsed to himself hours ago that was meticulously planned is suddenly unreachable in his memory. There’s a vague fluttering of anxiety about it, but somehow it feels like the least of his worries right now.  
  
“Violet, how did you… realize…” Huey fumbles. “You- you know, like… ugh, this sounds way worse out loud, I really hope I’m not crossing a line here, but how did you realize you were trans?”  
  
He can feel Violet regarding him curiously and tries not to immediately lose his resolve.  
  
“I realized when I was fairly young. I didn’t know the word transgender at the time, but I knew I was a girl, and was very persistent about being referred to as such. Male pronouns and being considered a boy always felt wrong to me. People have many different experiences though, and most aren’t like mine at all. A lot only realize they’re trans in their twenties or thirties and even later. In the end, it comes down to what makes _you_ comfortable.”  
  
The way Violet worded it makes him think she already knows what he’s about to say.  
  
 _What makes you comfortable_.  
  
“I… I think maybeI’magirl.” Huey finally spits out, and immediately regrets it when the feeling of dread washes over him. She’s going to think he’s lying, trying to get attention, he’s not _actually_ a girl-  
  
“Do you want me to refer to you by she/her pronouns?”  
  
Huey’s train of thought halts.  
  
 _Huh_?  
  
“...Yes?” It comes out as more a bewildered question rather than a decisive statement. “Wait- you’re not… mad? You don’t think I’m lying?”  
  
“Why would you be?”  
  
Violet asks it so a-matter-of-factly. Why _would_ he- she- be? Violet sounds so confused by the idea, that he-? would possibly ever do it  
  
...Pronouns are really confusing when just a minute ago you were so sure you were just some awful person giving a bad image to people who were actually trans only to realize that, maybe, you aren’t.  
  
“I don’t _know_ I just feel like I _can’t_ be a girl, like, I’m just trying to get attention or… what if I say I’m a girl but I’m actually not and I’m _wrong_ and I end up lying to so many people, or-”  
  
Violet squeezes his hand, a simple, small gesture, but it breaks him out of his ramble.  
  
“Are you comfortable being called a boy?” Violet asks.  
  
“I…” Huey thinks of every single time he was referred to as a male, every time something felt almost wrong with the he/him pronouns but they were too familiar to really place his finger on it. But most of all, he thinks of a few weeks ago. He… _She_ and Webby had been out together on their own little adventure, and a nice old lady they briefly talked with called Huey a girl.   
  
She called Huey a girl, and Huey had felt this overwhelming relief and _joy_ burst in her chest. It left her feeling like she was floating the rest of the day, something in her knowing that it was _right_.  
  
“No.”  
  
It’s the complete truth.  
  
“Are you comfortable being called a girl?”  
  
Huey takes a deep breath. Inhale. Exhale. It’s okay. You’re not lying, you’re not faking, you’re just telling Violet what you feel right now.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Do you _want_ to be called a girl?”  
  
“ _Yes_.”  
  
Violet smiles, and it’s a rare one of hers, all bright and _sunshine_. “Then you’re a girl. I’m not going to lie, this is a hard process to figure out, and some go through many labels before finding the right one. But what you feel right now is still valid, and if you feel like, and want to be a girl, then that’s what you are. No questions asked.”  
  
Huey gives a trembling smile, tears forming in the edges of her eyes. She wipes them away, letting go of Violet’s hand and pulling her into a hug. “Thank you, _thank you_ so much.”  
  
Her entire being feels like it’s _vibrating_ from joy, harshly flapping her hands from behind Violet’s back, making sure she doesn’t accidentally hit her.  
  
Violet immediately hugs back, softly patting Huey’s head, something Violet has done with her many times before and others. It’s… oddly comforting.  
  
“May I ask,” Violet starts, “why didn’t you go to Webbigail for this? She is your sister, and I imagine you’re closer to her than me. Not that I don’t consider us friends.”  
  
Huey lets out a humorless laugh. “I didn’t really want to ask her if it turned out I wasn’t trans, I wouldn’t be able to deal with that embarrassment. It felt a little easier going to you instead since I don’t have to see you everyday for seven more years.”  
  
“Understandable.”  
  
Huey huffs, smiling. She pulls back, letting her hands go wild with the absolute glee and positive energy running through her veins, almost bouncing in her spot. She doesn’t stim very openly a lot, but there’s just _too much_ that she needs to get out, she’s the happiest she’s been in months.  
  
“By the way, what would you like me to call you?” Violet inquires.  
  
Huey slows the tiniest bit, belatedly realizing...  
  
“I didn’t really think that far ahead.” Huey admits. When you’ve been having a breakdown about even the _idea_ of being a girl, changing your name isn’t really one of the things on your mind. “ ...I think I’ll just stay with Huey for now. It’s kind of cheesy, but I like matching with my siblings. I might drop Hubert, though.”  
  
“Alright, Huey. Now, I want to make it clear that going slow is expected, and you don’t need to have everything figured out this second. It’s okay if you don’t have an answer, but is there anything else you’d like to do to feel more comfortable?”  
  
She rubs a hand against her hair, humming and shifting her head.  
  
 _Wait_.  
  
“...I think I want to grow out my hair? More than it already is. This is the longest it’s ever been.”  
  
“I can give you some tips on maintaining longer hair tomorrow if you’re interested. Actually, we can further discuss all of this if you find yourself having questions, concerns, etcetera. Deal?” Violet raises out a hand.  
  
Huey shakes it, smiling. “Deal.”

**Author's Note:**

> im possibly turning this into a series, obvs mostly focusing on huey and vi but i might throw in the other kids (like dewey... hes my boy)
> 
> an important note: all the kids are trans! huey, vi, and webby are trans girls, louies a trans boy, and deweys nonbinary. havent exactly decided on lena- i have a lot of different conflicting headcanons for her but... shes also trans
> 
> if u wanna reblog the fic, here it is on my tumblr: https://moon-owo-star.tumblr.com/post/614523639068606464/ill-be-around-sherbertflowers-ducktales


End file.
